released 2003
Fat Possum records

On the Mississippi River, I was born in '59
Mississippi River, I was born in '59
Down in Dinkytown, old Bob Dylan freezin' his behind

Go down to the shore, drink us some wine
Well we tumble down to the shore, drinkin' some wine
I only did it one time

Took a whole lot of girls, then went down to the shore
Took a whole lot of girls, then went down to the shore
Took a boy down once, played the blues, and he ain't here no more

Well it's MPLS
The place that I like best
Well it's MPLS
The place that I like best
Don't call, don't call, no St. Paul
MPLS, yeah, yes

Drinking in a bar, drinking in a bar for fun
Drinking in a bar, drinking in a bar for fun
We always pay sitting next to little son(?)

Well it's MPLS
The place that I like best
Well it's MPLS
The place that I like best
Well I don't care, don't call, I don't want no St. Paul
MPLS, oh yes, you guessed

MPLS
MPLS
MPLS
MPLS
MPLS
The place that I like the very best
MPLS
MPLS
MPLS
MPLS
MPLS
The place that I like the very best
MPLS

I can do no right, do no right in your eyes
I can do no right, do no right in your eyes
Everything I do, you always criticize

Here comes another coarse retort
Here comes another coarse retort
You think by now you'd be a better sport

You're always trying to drag me down to your level
Always trying to drag me down to your level
I'd love to lay you out with a shovel

I can do no right, do no right in your eyes
I can do no right, do no right in your eyes
Everything I do, you always criticize

Mean, mean, mean...

Well the nighttime is for vampires and failures
You're cocksure and persistent
Venus Pussy, she ain't so certain(?)

Well, the night is for vampires
Well, the night is for vampires
Vampires and failures

Positively belligerent
Return her heart
I mean, form your own opinion
You lookin' beautiful in the dark
Cynical and bitter
You're starting to glow, yeah

Well, the nighttime for vampires
Well, the nighttime for vampires
Vampires and failures
Vampires and failures

Well, the night is for vampires
Well, the night is for vampires
Vampires and failures

Rumors and innuendoes
They're circles around my eyes
Rumors and innuendoes
I say, they're circles around my eyes
I went to Madison Square Garden
And had a terrible time

No matter what they say
No matter what they think
No matter, no matter what, no matter what they say
No matter what they think
I didn't sleep with your wife
No, not one goddamned wink

Rumors and innuendoes
Choking on the grapevine
Rumors and innuendoes
Choking on the grapevine
Circles around my eyes
Madison Square Garden, one time
One time
One time

No matter what they say
No matter what they may think
No matter, no matter what they say
No matter what they think
I didn't sleep with her
Not one goddamned wink

If you leave me, baby
Say you won't be back
And that would be the end of me
I'd have a heart attack

You better get some insurance on me, baby
Take out some insurance on me, girl
'Cause if you ever, ever said goodbye,
I'd haul right off and die

Mm, I love you, baby
Long as I have breath
I'll be fine if no sweetheart don't
Scare me half to death

You better get some insurance on me, baby
Take out some insurance on me, girl
'Cause if you ever, ever says goodbye,
I might haul right off right up and die

Don't get no self in an accident
'Cause I'm guilty as can be
With your head in his hands, you take a firm grip,
Get a firm lock on me

You don't know me baby
Like I knows myself
I couldn't live if you should give your old love to someone else

You better get some insurance on me, baby
Take out some insurance on me, girl
'Cause if you ever, ever said goodbye,
I'd haul right off and die
If we ever, ever say goodbye
I might haul right off and die

You wipe your lips on my mouth
You wipe your lips on my mouth
And you shake your hips, you're cleaning house

You scratch your thigh on my leg
You scratch your thigh on my leg
You made me rub my eyes, made me beg

You let your hair hand down on my gut
You let your hair hand down on my gut
Now I won't care, keeping your eyes shut

You wipe your lips on my mouth
You wipe your lips on my mouth
And you shake your hips, you're cleaning house

She's a natural mean lover (natural mean lover)
She's a natural mean lover (natural mean lover)
She's a natural mean lover
And she don't want nothing to do with you

Shaking her hair
For a big name group
(?)

She's a natural mean lover (natural mean lover)
She's a natural mean lover (natural mean lover)
She's a natural mean lover
And she don't want nothing to do with you

She's diving at nothing
The night is wild
She's hanging out with that other guy

She's a natural mean lover (natural mean lover)
She's a natural mean lover (natural mean lover)
She's a natural mean lover
And she don't want no one like you

I gotta get a move on
I’m just a honky with a hat on
Move your ass to the sidewalk
And ride your donkey till I get off
And I get a move on

I gotta get a move on
You won’t want me now to stay long
I’ll write a piece of rambling prose and shit
Honey, come on, let me drink your spit
Then I get a move, get a move on

Gotta get a move on
Gotta get long gone

I gotta get a move on
I’m just a honky in a parking
I’ll move my ass to the sidewalk
And ride your little donkey till I drop, drop, drop

Get a move, get a move on

Get yourself a rich man
Make you secure for life
Get yourself a rich man
Make you secure for life
Forget about that bad boy you want with all your might

Get yourself a young man
Make you feel warm inside
Get yourself a younger man
Make you feel warm inside
Forgot about that bad boy you want with all your might

Standing right next to him
You ain’t by his side
If you stand up next to him
You ain’t by his side
You spend the night but ain’t got no intention to reside (?)

What you need is an honest and decent guy
What you need is an honest and decent guy
Instead of the bad boy you wanted with all your might

I’ve been a bad, bad, bad boy
The bad boy you wanted all your life
The bad boy you want with all your might

All the snow has turned to water
Christmas day has come and gone
Broken toys and faded colors
That’s all that’s left to linger on

I hate graveyards and old pawnshops
For they always bring me tears
Can’t forgive the way they rob me
Off my childish souvenirs

Memories can’t be bought'n
Can’t be won at the carnival for free
It took me years to get those souvenirs
And I don’t know how they get away from me

Broken hearts and dirty windows
Make life difficult to see
That’s why last night and this morning
Forever look the same to me

And I ain’t reading old love letters
For they always bring me tears
Can’t forgive the way they rob me
Of my sweet heart’s souvenirs

Memories can’t be bought’n
Can’t be won at the carnival for free
It took me years
To get those souvenirs
And I don’t know how they slipped away from me

Hear the lonesome whippoorwill
He sounds too blue to fly
The midnight train is whining low
I’m so lonesome I could cry

I’ve never seen a night so long
When time goes crawling by
The moon just went behind a cloud
To hide its face and cry

Did you ever see a robin weep?
When leaves begin to die
That means he’s lost the will to live
I’m so lonesome I could cry

The silence of a falling star
Lights up a purple sky
And as I wonder where you are
I’m so lonesome I could cry

Up all day, looking like a wreck
Up all day, looking like a wreck
Listening to the blues
You say you’re gonna ring my neck

I close my eyes in time with the beat
I close my eyes in time with the beat
Will my little boy save me? Will he call me at a quarter to 3?
Make me fight and pull myself up
And heave my guts right out
Made me fight and pull myself up
And heave my guts out
Every scrap of food that was in there, and everything else without a shadow of a doubt

Well I lost count when I took four
I lost count but it took four calls to bring me ‘round
And the one that finally got me
Didn’t have nothing to say at all

Well, the next time I O.D., babe
I’m gonna wear a dirty shirt
Well, the next time I O..D., babe
I’m gonna wear a dirty shirt
Ain’t no sense in wrecking one of my
Fancy (?) fine shirts

Whatever happened to Paul?
I don’t know
Whatever happened to Paul?
I don’t know
He fell in with bad companions
And he lived happily ever after, you

Do the dead man shake
The dead man shake, shake
Do the dead man shake, shake
Do the dead man shake (?)
Do the dead man shake, shake

Do the dead man shake
The dead man shake, shake
Do the dead man shake, shake
Do the dead man shake, ain’t no more from the liquor store
Do the dead man shake, shake

Do the dead man shake
The dead man shake, shake
Do the dead man shake, shake
Do the dead man shake, a hillbilly junk, a big city punk (?)
Do the dead man shake, shake

Do the dead man shake
The dead man shake, shake
Do the dead man shake, shake
Do the dead man shake, whatever it takes
Do the dead man shake, shake

What kind of fool am I?
Who never fell in love?
It seems that I’m the only one that I’ve been thinking of

What kind of man is this?
An empty shell
A lonely cell in which an empty heart must dwell

What kind of lips are these
That lie with every kiss?
That whispered empty words of love
That left me alone like this?
Why can’t I fall in love
Like any other man?
And maybe then I’ll know what kind of fool I am

What kind of clown am I
What do I know of life?
Why can’t I cast away this mask of play
And live my life
Why can’t I fall in love
Till I don’t give a damn?
And maybe then I’ll know what kind of fool I am